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Why is the Future Female?

To be honest, I didn’t realize “the future is female” is actually linked back to the lesbian movement in the ’70s. Supposedly, anyone older than me associates this statement with the LGBT community. I had NO fucking clue! I thought it was a little like something I’ve been studying lately. My career, to this day, is male-dominated. Working in the engineering community, I see and experience the setbacks women have in this industry. With the tough skin I’ve grown over recent years, I’m getting curious about how I can break through the managerial testosterone barrier. I thought “the future is female” was a movement related to gender equality, mostly in the business and political worlds. So, after doing my research, I now realize why some people have this hesitant attitude towards what “the future is female” is all about.

In my case, it seemed like this is the perfect time to discuss my perception of what I think “the future is female” means. An important take away I want my readers to understand is that I’m not glorifying female domination. Nor am I inferring that women do not need men to procreate. That’s a complete exaggeration to the main message behind “the future is female”. There has been centuries of women oppression. Since the beginning of time, women: did not have the right to vote, were not allowed to open bank accounts, discriminated against for being the gender that must render a child and thus not qualified for a job, are not given equal pay because a women’s work is not considered as valuable as a mans, and whatever other social constructs that has labeled women not as powerful as men.

These facts have beaten down our psychological sanity within our culture. Over centuries of evolution, since we haven’t been successful convincing men that we can indeed be just as educated, just as persuasive, just as confident – even though women are still denied education and not given an equal opportunity to learn more than men – we were essentially forced to take another route to show our significance: by attracting the attention of men using our appearance and sensuality.

We then compete against each other for who has the best boobs, the best butt, the most beautiful face that every man will want. We compete against every woman for that matter, but in the form of envy and jealously. This competition is over something that women everywhere have grown acceptance to willingly go under the knife, endure pain, and risk their bodies to make their features more admirable for this very reason. It is the one thing that men don’t have: boobs and ass.

We’ve glorified the beauty industry so much that it is very apparant the age that girls become sexually active and are wearing makeup is reaching younger and younger. Why? Society has placed the expectation that women are the eye candy of society. Oh no, not successful, confident, and women money-making millionaires. Nope. Its the models, Instagram famous beauties, and trophy wives. Like, “trophy wives” are actually a definition of women in society. You never hear about trophy “husbands”. Only rich husbands. Girls wanna marry rich. Boys wanna marry trophy. Just look at the confused, twisted, fucked up stereotypes society holds women to.

THIS is the very reason that I connect to “the future is female” – because I believe that these are the reasons we need more attention to and the perception of females in executive roles. Society needs to grow the fuck beyond that just because you have huge tits and ass that you’re an amazing woman. I don’t give a shit. It’s so much deeper than that. Just how I’ve continuously been in the same situation over and over and over. “Wow, you don’t look like an engineer” – that’s because no one ever thinks that a beautiful woman can be smart too. That to be smart you have to be introverted, nerd, lame, not attractive. That’s completely bullshit and that’s what I want this generation to see. Being hot but your dumb, is so NOT hot.

We are linked… not ranked – Madame Gandhi

These new types of girls are thirsty for intellectual conversations, but can probably still beat you at your ab circuit in the gym. They can do a blow out on their hair, pull off red lipstick, and still ace a calculus exam. They can dress business professional, look fresh AF, and still walk into a male dominated meeting and run it and they listen. The days are over of just being appealing because of how hot we look in some cut off daisy dukes. The days are beginning where a girl pursuing a STEM degree is recognized as the girl with the most guts, the hardest work ethic, the sharpest one in the room. The days are beginning where women are starting to surpass men in salaries at their jobs. The days are beginning where women are starting to challenge the status quo that has been holding them down since the fucking beginning of time.

Now, this movement is not just about females. This movement is still about the equality of men and women. This movement is going to challenge the very men that thought they didn’t have any competition. This movement is positive, optimistic, and exciting. This is a pivotal moment for the idea of human collaboration to actually work. This world currently is run by men, and I don’t think they understand the actual potential that is actually available to make this world a fucking better place:

  • In America, only 19% of congress are women. That means it is 81% male
  • Women currently hold only 4.8% of CEO positions at S&P 500 companies
  • Less than 30% of the world’s researchers are women
  • 62 million girls are denied an education all over the world
  • Women with full-time jobs still earn only about 77% of their male counterparts’ earnings
  • Women spend at least twice as much time as men on domestic work, and when all work – paid and unpaid – is considered, women work longer hours than men. (The World’s Women 2015)
  • By 2020, there will be 1.4 million open technology jobs in the U.S. and, at the current rate of students graduating with degrees in computer science, men will outnumber women 4:1
  • American women serving in military forces are more likely to be raped by a comrade than killed by an enemy

References found here

“The future is female” means we look at the female archetypes as a way of leadership – Madame Gandhi

So far, we’ve looked too much to the male archetype for influence. Male archetypes have developed colonialism and patriarchy – a very competitive, testosterone driven, hierarchal-triangle driven leadership style – where only one person can win and the rest lose (Madame Gandhi).

The US has never been run by females. Maybe that’s why we have a strong movement of female leadership because we want change and have a compelling belief in trying to see whether female influence is the missing piece. A contagious reason I believe this movement has grown is because of girls and women willingness to collaborate more. For those of us that have been able to tear down the wall of comparison, envy, and jealously, we are starting to see how well collaboration works.

We are linked and not ranked. We need to look to how individual contributions amplify the lives of others and create a prosperous nation when everyone is on the same team. Instead of trying to figure out how to organize and dominate each other to only leave others in oppression, we look to collaboration. Just because you chose to help someone does not prohibit you from progressing faster than them. Nor does it give them a better advantage to beat you. Choosing to collaborate to solve issues or complete a project – all sides win.

Instead of being group forced, angry, fighting, and not asking questions – women listen more than we speak and we are more emotionally intelligent than we are physically strong (Madame Gandhi). The physical attributes are always a plus, but the big picture here is the influence of both gender archetypes needs to be balanced. We need both energies, but we’ve gone too far into the male side of the spectrum. We need to to start to learn from the female energy.

What can we learn from the female energy to provide alternative methods of leadership? Research shows that women have more collaborative, intuitive, nurturing, and empathetic style, while men prefer more top-down, fact-based, linear, and task-oriented approach (Mary-Frances Winters). It should be obvious that we need both. But each side needs to begin learning from the other. Men need to become more comfortable with collaboration. Women need to become more confident when decision-making. Feminism must be the fight for gender equality – a movement inclusive of all genders. It is our challenge to speak out against our old-fashioned culture.

Women: we are gentle, we are loving, we care. But don’t oppress us, don’t shove us aside. Push us far enough and we will get mad. We will push back. This is the future I’m talking about. This is future I believe in and the future I am encouraging. “The future is female” is our moment, this is our time to show our true potential.

#becausegirls

 

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Top Tips to Improve Your Personal Brand

Credits go to Marielle Legair for inspiring me to share what I found to be great advice to building your personal brand and why it’s so important for your success

In this new digital world there is more content being released every day than ever before. To put it into perspective, the world population is about 7.6 billion people. The internet counts 3.5 billion users are consistently active, where 3.03 billion of those people are active on social media platforms. Facebook now sees 8 billion average daily video views from 500 million users. There are 500 million Tweets sent each day – that’s about 6,000 Tweets every second. On Instagram, around 95 million photos are uploaded each day. There are more than 1 billion Pinterest Boards. More than 400 million Snapchat stories are created per day. On YouTube, 400 hours worth of video content is uploaded every minute. The amount of STUFF out there is absolutely insane! So what do you need to do? You cannot afford to blend in. You must do everything you can in order to stand out – and I’m here to help show you what you can start to do today.

Now is the time…

If you don’t own a business or big into social media, there are still benefits of growing your personal brand for your career. Over 3 million companies have created LinkedIn accounts and 10 million jobs are actively listed on LinkedIn. The career online-space is growing. Establishing yourself as an expert at your craft will improve your credibility. In turn, this creates potential to increase your chance of earning more and being classified as a valuable asset. This can make doors open for you much easier to find a better job or win more clients. No matter your status, if you are not building your reputation, most likely someone else will. Because the world is moving further and further into social media and the online space, if you are not using these platforms to your advantage, you have a higher risk of being passed by for someone else.

Network is Net Worth…

Whether you have a brand, company, blog, or vlog – having a unique brand identity is key to being rememberable. This becomes important once you start working to make connections. Do you have your own domain name? (aka website, so that people can easily find you) Do you have a professional and consistent aesthetic to your image, message, and content? These are parts of your personal brand that play a major role in being able to stand out within your niche market. Work to fine tune this area of your online presence. Most importantly, make sure you are creating and designing your personal brand to how it feels good to YOU. Fake intentions will eventually be exposed and won’t feel “real” to your audience. It sounds so easy, but I know how hard it can be to just be yourself! Social media can eat you up and spit you back out, but being authentic and true to yourself will take you much farther in the long run.

Don’t waste your looks…

Yes ladies, gather up that confidence and realize that you can use your pretty to your advantage. I’m not referring to using yourself to your advantage as a situation like Hooters or dressing scandalous. I’m talking about first impressions and making sure you appear put together. How you carry yourself is just as important as your online presence. We don’t have any Snapchat filters in real life – if you’re gonna talk the talk you better walk the walk. Take notice that a lot of successful people take care of their health, fitness, and style. There’s a reason why they spend so much money and time into their appearance; it’s extremely important to their ability to broadcast their brand and themselves to literally anything that comes their way. Take some time to get yourself a routine where you can get enough rest, eat well, exercise regularly, and mentally be ready every day. This will only further improve your energy to working towards being your best self.

Personal Brand Checklist

Excerpt from Personal Brand Bible for Ambitious Women by Marielle Legair
  • I am clear on what I want to be known for
  • I have created a powerful pitch to explain what I do
  • I have a professional website (or social media platform)
  • I have created a unique, professional brand identity
  • I network well and often
  • I eat a healthy breakfast and stay hydrated throughout the day
  • I move my body each day (cardio, yoga, or weight training, etc.)

 

Do you know what you need to work on? Take it step by step and ask your friends for help! Don’t know how to get a professional website? Contact me at info@becausegirls.com and I can walk you through our opportunity with WebMVMT to get you started! Want more info on personal branding? Pick up the book, Personal Brand Bible for Ambitious Women, in Amazon for only 10 bucks! Need help networking? Check out BecauseGirls Facebook page and connect with us! There are so many resources for you, you just have to get out there! Have fun building your personal brand!

#becausegirls

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Books for the Slay Girls

You might be underestimating the power of a good book. I’ve been looking for some jam-packed, worthwhile quick reads to get some useful information that isn’t easily found just by scanning Instagram and Twitter feeds. Sometimes it’s actually nice to have a tangible page in front of your face that you can touch, feel, markup with a highlighter, and keep by your nightstand for easy access when you need some insight. Reading a book doesn’t mean it has to be a long, boring, drawn-out process. I’ve found a few that I think are worth sharing and worth your time:

The Personal Brand Bible for Ambitious Women by Marielle Legair

  • Girls and women of all ages! Get your hands on this book ASAP. Personal branding is so important in this new age of social media and Marielle does a fabulous job giving the ultimate advice straight-up and to the point. Whether you are looking to become Instagram famous, get that promotion at your company, or land a new job – this is what you need. With checklists at the end of each chapter, it’s easy to perform a quality check of your status and what you need to work on. Watch my VLOG at the end of this post for a fun intro to why you should hop on her bandwagon!

Girl Code by Cara Alwill Leyba

  • Cara Alwill Leyba argues that girls are more powerful together. When we can connect and support one another, then that’s when real magic starts to happen. This book contains more theoretical tactics to motivate and inspire you rather than actual business tips – Cara is a life coach, after all. The stories throughout aim to show examples of when female entrepreneurs combine their powers to make things happen, all sides win in the end. Her feel good attitude and empowering mantras are contagious!

Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois P. Frankel

  • This book IS for the nice girls! Surprisingly, there are natural biological women instincts that can potentially sabotage our careers without even realizing! Lois does a wonderful job breaking down each “mistake” into simple explanations WITH suggestions of how to fix it. I’d consider myself a nice girl, and some tips in here really hit home for me. With 101 quick tips, it’s easy to read a couple then reflect and put down the book until you’re ready for some more.

Crushing It! by Gary Vaynerchuk

  • Gary V – this guy is the man. If you didn’t read his first book, Crush It!, you might want to start there. I didn’t because who has time for that! But, this is Part 2 and walks through the same principles shared in his first book while giving case studies of people that actually took his advice and made it work. In a way, it makes his advice more legitimate and shows you how these people took what they needed, put it in action, and achieved success. Now you have no excuses.

Settle for More by Megyn Kelly

  • Although you may know Megyn as a NBC News anchor, her story offers impressive insight into her charismatic, courageous, and determined character. Taking the leap from her thriving legal job to follow her passion as a journalist gives a story into how perseverance and tough skin can be built upon through your journey. Her motto “Settle for More” grasps the concept of fighting for what you believe in and tells how she used this to keep up her progression. Reminding us we all can reach beyond our perceived limitations!

Bringing Out The Best in People by Alan Loy McGinnis

  • This is an oldie but goodie. My father was the one who always referred me to this book when overcoming difficult people problems at work. If you are managing a team, growing your network, or looking to how to best serve those around you, this book gives 12 principles you need to embody.  Learn the skills that leaders have used for centuries to motivate their following and how you can gain satisfaction from being able to create an effective system when bringing out the best in people!

I hope you find that one of these books will suit what knowledge you are looking for! There is so much information at our finger tips, sometimes it is hard to sift through all the options and pick one that works for your learning style, your interest, and authors you can connect with. Start your library, or add to it, and begin learning from others. Remember – we are not in this alone! If you have other books that you love that I did not list, please comment below!

#becausegirls

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Be Featured in the SlayTribe

Ladies, we have something NEW for YOU! BecauseGirls is looking for inspiring, motivated, ambitious, fun and outgoing females who would like to be featured in our premium editorial, the #SlayTribe. We would like to feature YOU and your story on your journey to success.

You don’t have to be making racks or have super nice cars, you don’t even have to be super established with your brand or business. We want your story of what you have achieved working towards your goals and what you have learned along the way.

Becoming a part of the #SlayTribe means that you’ll be joining a group of creative and aspiring females who are all still on their quest for success. Being a Slay Girl will give you exposure in a group of like-minded women who can help you along the way.

BecauseGirls has worked with women in various industries including: modeling, model-photography, makeup styling, model event planning, photoshoot planning, networking events, fashion, beauty, and even fitness. Our team also has experience in back-end necessities like social media, web-design, and support in personal branding. The #SlayTribe will be a platform for us to get to know the girls we work with and expose you in a collaboration atmosphere to create a community of creativity, support, and motivation.

Being featured in the BecauseGirls premium editorial, the #SlayTribe, is completely FREE – NO catch!

All you need to have is an inspiring story, knowledge you want to share, and a positive and outgoing vibe about what you are doing to succeed!

We also just made an even more exciting addition for you because of your willingness and support for BecauseGirls. You have the option to receive a FREE WEBSITE to help promote yourself or your business! We’ve been able to partner with WebMVMT & SimpleSiteBuilders to bring you the opportunity to grow your online presence.

Here’s what your interview and SlayTribe feature will include:

  1. Film your video interview with our very own #SlayTribe leader
    • We know how an “interview” can sound intimidating! Don’t worry, we share with you the types of questions we ask before hand so that you can prep your answers. This is supposed to be fun and show everyone how amazing you are!
  2. Film some examples of you and your business in action
    • Whether we are talking about your personal brand, your business, or hobbies you have – we’d love to catch you in action doing what you do best to show off your skills! This makes your video interview so much more interesting getting to see some snips of you doing what you love!
  3. Build you your free website
    • Have a website already and it needs a makeover? We can help! Don’t have a website yet? We have hundreds of themes and templates for you to choose from. Pick your domain name (.com) and we’ll take care of the first year of hosting your website. We’ll also help you design your site and could even help you design a logo! We want to help you take your brand, business, blog, or anything about you to the next level!
  4. Distribution of your edited video interview across all platforms with shoutouts to yours: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube
  5. Written premium editorial #SlayTribe blog post featuring your interview on our BecauseGirls Blog
    • Not only will you have your own video for distribution, we’ll write up a summary of the interview and what you’re up to. This can be optional for you, but we love our blog and would love to feature you in writing as well!
  6. Instant access to the #SlayTribe closed Facebook Group
    • We have a SlayTribe Facebook group that is growing slowly, but will eventually be a collective and collaborative group of all the ladies and woman that we have featured in our #SlayTribe that you can seek out advice, brainstorm new ideas, find someone to plan events with, collab with – whatever you can think of!

This is all about having fun, exposing your talents, and getting out there! We invite you to be a Slay Girl and join our #SlayTribe! We want to expose your mission so other girls and women are inspired and motivated by your story. We want to help you grow your online presence with a website – something that no other girl gang has offered to their following before! Lastly, we want to create a community of amazing women who support each other so no girl or woman ever has to feel that their voice is not being heard.

Visit SlayGirls.com to send us your information!

Or send us an email directly to info@becausegirls.com

Let’s schedule your feature ASAP!

We can’t wait for you to join us!

 

#becausegirls

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Why You Need a Morning Routine

Everyone has a morning. We all wake up after a nights rest about to start a new day. What does your morning routine look like? Do you have one? Why should we have a morning routine? For a lot of successful people, they claim that how they set up their morning can make or break their day. Just how I talked about thought processes and mindset in this previous blog, your morning routine can play a large part in how you make the most of your time. I think for all of us, we all want to have an awesome day – whether that is meeting up with good friends, having successful meetings at work, or just simply being happy with what the new day brings.

Have you ever experienced when something happens to you in the morning and the rest of the day is burdened by what happened? Maybe you spilled coffee on your outfit in the car before work, maybe you checked your phone right as you woke up and a client canceled last minute for an important event, or even just as simple as you forgot your lunch. Whatever has caused you distress in the morning can make an impact on your mood the rest of the day.

If we can start our morning in a way that sets us up for success, then we’re bound to be able to approach those obstacles in a way that won’t drag us down. If we set up our morning routine for success, this is feeding our confidence for the day ahead. Our confidence is a major key to our success. If you start your day wrong, you are bound to have less confidence. We must work to protect our confidence daily because it is key to having a productive day in whatever we are doing.

I’ve collected some habits that others use in their morning routine to set them up for success. Use these habits to help strengthen your confidence and without a doubt it will translate into the effort you are putting forth in what you want to achieve. You probably won’t use all of these, but take what speaks to you, implement into your morning, and see if your confidence, attitude, and outlook on your day improves:

  • Practice Gratitude: Being grateful is a powerful trait to have. It is a tangent of being humble. Gratitude allows you to set aside the ego, be thankful, and be grateful that you get to wake up today to work towards something
  • Put Your Phone on Airplane Mode: The night before, put your phone on airplane mode. We are constantly being bombarded with notifications. Those could be emails, text messages, or social media updates that should wait until you are ready to consume them. If something goes wrong or a post didn’t get as many likes as you wanted it to, your confidence is already taking a hit. You have already lost focus on yourself. If you wait until you’re ready to consume the content, you can already set up your mindset to be ready to take on those obstacles and your confidence for the day won’t be at risk
  • Set Up Your Focus: Wake up and think about what you want to kick ass at today!! What’s your intention for the day? What do you need to focus on to help you succeed? A lot of influencers believe what we focus on we become. What we focus on we can achieve. I can go into a whole other blog about this topic, which I eventually will, but think about where you need to point your focus to help you have a successful day and what will help contribute to your confidence. That could be focusing on the motivation to get to the gym, focusing on what your going to pitch to your boss today for a promotion – choose what you want to put your energy towards for the day that is going to feed your soul.
  • Get Moving: Not only do we need to feed our soul, we need to feed our body. I used to be a morning gym-goer but lately I’ve liked working out after work. Whatever works for you, moving the body is so important. Awhile ago during travel, I had a conversation with a lovely older lady. We were talking about exercise and she said, “Hun, don’t work out for your body but for your mind”. I think it’s good to understand that working out isn’t just to look good, it is a healthy way for your body to release good endorphins which in turn can really help out your confidence and self-esteem. Then of course eating a healthy balanced diet. I’ve started this crazy ACV drink that I sip on while doing my makeup and it’s actually pretty bomb. LOL
  • It’s Not What You Have to Do, but What You Get to Do: Here is a great example of a mindset shift. By thinking in the way where you have to go to work, you might feel brought down or upset with the fact. But thinking in the way where you get to go to work – bitch, you’re getting paid! Go make a difference today at work! No matter how small. Instead of you have to go to the gym, you get to go to the gym. Bitch, you have legs that can move! You can breathe normally! You ought to be thankful that you get to go to the gym and work on yourself. Same goes for anything else more complicated. Make that switch.

Time to rise and grind, baby. Set up your morning routine so that you start your day off with confidence. Set yourself up for success. Put intention into your morning routine and see how much your day improves and how much more you accomplish. Comment below what else you do for your routine that I didn’t cover here! I’d love to know. Let’s all go kick ass and have a successful day.

#becausegirls

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Mindset is Everything

With it being the start of a new year, I’ve started researching more thoroughly what it takes to “hustle”. I know, you can laugh. To some this might seem like a taboo subject, but stay with me and see if you really know what you think you know. I’ll state the disclaimer that I’m not speaking to everyone. Your “hustle” or your “grind” is probably completely different than mine, but I want to connect with you on the next level. The level where it doesn’t matter what it is you’re working towards, but how you are mentally approaching the challenges. This has become a key concept for me to grasp, understand, or even control. I’m extremely guilty of viewing my own personal obstacles as debilitating events in my life, becoming negative and feeling beaten by them. That is the very feeling I want to bash into the ground to show you how we CAN control our circumstances. It starts with the mindset.

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but every day we wake up, our mind is thinking a way that we’ve accustomed it to. It is “who we are”, right?  That is because over time we have habitually created our own thought processes, whether good or bad. Thought processes can be influenced by many, many external things. Things like, who you hang out with, your job at the time, your boss, your parents, who you’re living with, what your room looks like, what type of car you drive, food you eat, alcohol you drink, or the music you listen to – I could go on and on. Those are only a few of our external surroundings that affect how we think about stuff. What I’m finding after listening to countless podcast episodes, reading books, talking to more experienced professionals – there is a much higher wavelength of thinking. If used to your advantage, it can be of great use to how you achieve the wants and desires you dream of in life. Learn to take control of that, your mindset, and suddenly good things start to happen.

I don’t mean this as a fool proof life hack of like, “hey, start thinking differently and your life will magically get better!”

No. Nothing works that way.

What works?

Practice.

What comes with practice?

Forming habits.

Forming the familiarity with a new workout move or new software system at work, or a new mindset – with practice it can become easier and feel more natural. We must practice the mental workout. A workout of our thoughts, energies, feelings, and emotions – all of that. Changing the mindset from one state of thinking to the next takes practice. The more you work on it, the better it can get. This also takes the self-awareness concept to a whole new level. To change the way that you are viewing an obstacle as a threat versus an opportunity, becomes something you can control. A burden versus a good deed. An annoying customer versus a person in need. An embarrassing moment versus a chance for growth. These are sorts of situations when exercising the ability to alter our mindset, can we learn and understand how valuable this skill is to the advancement of our self.

I won’t say I’m the case study to prove this, but if you start paying attention to what these successful people are saying, this is a common trend among all of them. It’s because I feel we underestimate the power our mind has on the outcome of our actions. If we lose our self-awareness, or start to move through the motions on auto-pilot, eventually our actions lose intention. What we choose to do could be doing nothing to help our future self. Even worse, we could lose sight so much of what we are working towards that we fall behind and are hindering ourselves by not being aware of our perspective on our day-to-day actions.

Mindset is everything. By understanding this, you can start to work on two things at once: self-awareness and your mindset. I say both, because I think these two are very much dependent on each other. If you are not self-aware, then you cannot begin to analyze your train of thought, decision-making, and other pillars that make up your mindset. It’s a win-win if you choose to practice working on those because both are very difficult mental workouts. Becoming self-aware can be uncomfortable. You might have to confess to yourself and accept that you are making actions and thinking a certain way that is hindering your potential. You might come to realize your friends are really dragging you down, or your job, or your relationship. It can be a hard workout. But that’s the first step to making a change is becoming AWARE what needs to change.

Strengthening your self-awareness can help the workout of altering your mindset become easier. Throughout working on getting to know better what needs to change, then you know how to alter your mindset to start making those changes. Say you realize your job is really dragging you down or not enough pay, maybe there’s no room for growth in your position – now you are aware of this and you choose to look into other jobs available with better pay, or talk to your manager about your concerns with your job – RATHER than, complaining every day that you don’t make enough money or work for 3 more years in a role that plateaus your career when you could have been learning something new and advancing roles in another job maybe simply by asking your manager what growth opportunities there are for you. But, you had to make the decision, the mindset change, to realize that yes – you are ready to make a change in your daily habits, in your mindset, to get you a better paying job.

Let’s work through one more example. It’s the new year, there’s always a popular resolution about losing weight or gaining muscle. Working out has been the best metaphor I can relate to when thinking about a mindset change. Say your goal is to get six-pack abs. Sexy right? The end result will be totally worth all the work you have to put in to get those six-pack abs, right? YES. Ok, so are you ready for your 3 month makeover? Are you ready to fit gym into your schedule at least 4 days a week? Are you ready to ditch the take-out and cook for yourself at home? The lifestyle changes required for six-pack abs at minimum require 1hr gym sessions at least 4 days a week, clean-eating, and consistent effort to that 3 month long gym schedule. It’s a TOTAL lifestyle change. But that constant MENTAL effort to get to the gym, work through those painful workout sessions, fight the mind who says it’s so easy just to go get Taco Bell on my way home from work, but you have to say no. It’s a work in progress and consistent MENTAL workout you must practice to beat the temptations that will steer you away from your six-pack ab goal.

If you want six-packs abs, you WILL practice the mental workout and literally complete the physical workout. If you want more money in that bank account, you WILL practice the mental workout to strengthen your mindset to make day-to-day decisions that will help it grow. If you don’t want it that bad, don’t be surprised 3 months from now when you don’t have six pack abs. If you don’t want a lifestyle change that bad, don’t be surprised next year if your still broke AF.

I can’t resonate with enough the comparison of working on your body is so similar to working on your mind. You want to see change? YOU have to be the change. YOU have to put in the effort. YOU have to make the personal decision that you are going to learn what you need to do in order to exceed the status quo. You got to care enough about yourself and about your future to acknowledge that the time spent today, this week, this month can be spent working on improving your self so that in time, you will start to see results for the better.

To wrap this up and connect back to the beginning – what it takes to “hustle” is not some salesperson slogan to making racks that day on a big sale. It’s underestimated in its meaning by how much work it actually takes to embody the sense of “hustling” for yourself. To hustle is to have the courage, the confidence, and self belief to put your mind to something and work through the obstacles and push through the challenges until you find the opportunity you’ve been looking for. To consistently work on yourself, improve, learn, fail and try again. You got to have the mindset to know this is the journey you are embarking on, keeping the eye on the prize, knowing you’ll have resistance along the way, believing in yourself wholeheartedly that you deserve the fucking best for yourself and you’ll do everything you can to ensure that you push your limits beyond any boundary you think is there. There are no boundaries. You CAN control your circumstances. You CAN change. You just got to want it.

in SLAYGIRL

How Are You?

Good morning, good evening, or whatever time of day it is – I thank you for clicking on this link. Read the whole thing if you like. I hope you do, but if not, that’s ok. Out of a burst of inspiration I’ve decided to write this blog post a little differently. I’m going to flow with what comes to mind and if this works out, this will be published and you’ll be reading the flow right now. There’s a lot of content out there, so let me try to make this time spent on my blog worth your time – because it’s precious.

We’re approaching the new year, usually a time for personal reflection and goal-setting. Don’t get scared away just yet, I don’t want to preach about goal-setting or how to decipher how this past year transpired. I want to get real with the girls out there, or boys too, and ask the question of: how ARE you? Right now, in this week, this day, this moment. How are you? Like personally, like how is your mind-set? How have you reacted to today’s events, how are you in your space? It sounds like such a simple question, I know, but take a second to think about it. I promise I’m going somewhere with this.

For example, I’ll ask myself. Amanda, how are you? Today, I am trying to find the best way to solve a people problem at work. I am working to learn how other people can work well together. I am trying to bust a 10 year negative culture in the workplace with only 2 years of experience. Why? Because I am hopeful that I can turn my company culture around. How am I? I am optimistic, I am hopeful, I am thirsty for change, for improvement, for discovery. How I am today is the combination of this past years events. So really, if you can ask yourself and be honest with yourself how you are, TODAY, that might be the only question you need to ask – you’ll probably get the most relevant answer.

Because our time is so precious, I think that’s why we need more attention to the now, to the in the moment, to the what is coming up. What has happened in the past is already done. It’s gone. It’s all in your head, literally. It’s our time now to look around the corner, over the edge, between the lines. Today and tomorrow and the next day are really what need our attention. We need to be more thoughtful of how we are spending our time. We need to put more intention into what we spend our time on. If we’re more thoughtful and care about what we are putting our effort towards, which takes time, then we’re bound to have a better end result.

So ladies, if there is not a feeling in your gut that you want to succeed at something, that’s cool. You do you boo. But I have this gut wrenching feeling to make something of this time that we have. This sacred, precious time. It can be overwhelming, sad, hard, confusing, even discouraging – but that’s why we need to choose HOW to approach it, react to it, risk it, play with it, or love it. It’s up to us. Cheers to the girls who have spent their time helping BecauseGirls along the way – in our photo shoots, in our videos, in our crazy clothes – we love you. I want to keep up the positivity, the growth, and the inspiration from all the girls who have passed our way and who are to come. This was the insight into #SlayTribe, something that is only just beginning.

Thanks for reading. If you have a little extra time, answer the question in the comments: How are you? I hope you thoughtfully hop into your next moment with intention, with optimism, inspiration, and confidence. We got this. #slaytribe

#becausegirls

Found the gorgeous picture from this badass Pinterest account
in SLAYGIRL

FLAWLESS

If you haven’t noticed in this blog all my Beyonce references, you will now. It’s been decided that this betch is beyond a role model but a major influencer for a lot of people, most importantly – me! Think for just a minute about yourself – do you have someone you look up to? Whether that’s a fitness model, makeup youtuber, or maybe even a Kardashian (have no shame) – you can really start to grow a vision for yourself with a role model if you don’t know where to start.

Today I want to highlight a specific song of Beyonce’s. You guessed it – Flawless. This song is different than most of her work where there is about a 30 second break in the lyrics where she features whom I thought was an excerpt from a Rosa Parks speech or something… shows how much I know. The speaker is actually a Nigerian writer, Chimamanda, who gives what I think is a very strong, important message. After listening to the song over and over, her words stuck out to me more than ever.

The take-away from her excerpt seemed to be the concept that girls are raised based on competition of their looks – not their qualities, accomplishments, or life goals. Thus, girls turn against each other. Because when faced with a competition of looks, that is a war you will not win. We cannot control who has blonde hair, black skin, green eyes, petite or curvy body types; we are who we are. What defines us genuinely IS our qualities, accomplishments, and life goals – and these are things we CAN control.

Since so much history has already been written of girls competing for attention by their looks, we need to understand the benefits of ridding that competition and begin supporting one another instead. We are collaborators, not competitors. Most importantly, we are not competitors for our looks. If anything, we should be competitors with our success and hard work. Using positive competition versus negative competition can encourage us to go beyond our limitations. As well as, when you bring strong minds together and consider each other as a team, that is when magic really happens. #SLAYtribe

#becausegirls

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Slaying

Once again, BecauseGirls will bring up the trendy “slay” movement. However, I’d like to get personal with you and share some helpful information for those of us who really are trying to grow, evolve, and become better women. I had the privilege to be a part of a webinar; a free lecture for communication of women leadership. Here is a summary of what was shared and what I felt were important take-aways, enjoy:

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Summary and Notes of “Women Who Slay” by Jennifer Keitt

We love there has been a movement of this “new” term: Slaying; i.e. “to slay”, and “slaying it” — It’s really catching on and is referring to women who are “fantastic & well put-together…” — But “slay” is actually an old word referring “slay” in definition as, a fight, a war, or kill your enemy. There is a famous Chinese General, Sun Tzu, whose quotes have been passed down over hundreds of generations:

He says, “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting”

This is learning how to fight strategically to effortlessly win:

Learn to pick your battles…

Lesson 1 – Know my enemy and know thyself

If you know your enemy and you know yourself, you need not fear the results of a hundred battles”

Know yourself, know your enemy. If you know everything you want, you can win every time. You learn, and/or you know the enemy you will face. The definition of the word KNOW is: to be aware through observation, inquiry, or information. This is to “know” yourself, your core values, know your enemies… What is your enemy?

Lesson 2 – Win first and then go to war

Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war and then seek to win”

Every day you have to win, before you can win. Before the enemy even comes you are ready, prepared, and focused. You have got to win everyday. Know that you know, that you know. Know yourself. Know every morning how you will win today. Cool, calm, collected (CCC); you will win every time.

Lesson 3 – Understand that timing is everything

He who knows when he can fight and when he cannot, will be victorious”

Know when you are ready to fight. Not when you’re tired, not when you’re angry, not when you’re not sure. If you have thought about that battle 3 times in a row – it’s time to act. Time to do it, make a change, confront what’s in front of you. First, you must win the war before you have to battle. Do this by knowing what you want the resolution of the battle to BE.

Next, you get to decide the right time. It’s your decision and time to take control: your destiny. Confront the battle with the facts. Honesty. Focus on the real issue – the main problem you must solve, or the goal you want to meet.

Lesson 4 – Always leave a way of escape

To surround an enemy, you must leave a way of escape”

Knowing when to say enough is enough. You put yourself in a position that if something fails, you can move forward. You position yourself, strategically, so that when all  your effort has been put forth, you have tried your hardest to beat the battle, you have a way out. You can forge ahead.

When will you be satisfied?

If you have to say enough is enough. If something doesn’t go the right way, this doesn’t mean that you won’t win the war. This means that you have tried your hardest, you have pushed the limits. You have decided that your energy in this situation is not worth it anymore and you can put forth your energy into something bigger, better, than where you are now. Take a leap of faith, be prepared to fail, be prepared to get up and try again. Be prepared to keep on trying will all your might to prove that you can beat the obstacle in front of you.

YOU HAVE THE POWER. YOU CAN SLAY WHAT COMES YOUR WAY.

Believe this everyday, and you will go somewhere…

#becausegirls

in SLAYGIRL

The BG Vlog

Get to know your BecauseGirls “Slay Ambassador” – Amanda Marie

BecauseGirls is trying something new just for you! We don’t always feel like reading something, so we wanted to try out giving you something to watch and listen to instead. Introducing: The BG Vlog.

Amanda will be covering some of the blogs already written and re-cap the content that we feel are important take-aways. Although our blog covers silly things, like tanning specifics or the latest coffee trend, our blog incorporates some significant personal values that we feel BecauseGirls really stands for. Those are the topics we want to talk to you about and see if you like our little vlogs a little bit more.

TALK to you soon!

 

#becausegirls

 

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